Have I Got a Deal for You

 

Writers get messages from all kinds of hustlers trying to make a quick buck off us. As I tell my creative writing students, “Whenever someone has a dream, someone else is right there ready to take advantage of them.” And who dreams more than writers? We all want success (however we measure it) so badly that we’re willing to do almost anything to get it. And if the road to that success seems especially long and winding, we’ll look for any shortcuts we can find – especially if we’re new to the game and haven’t yet accepted that developing a writing career is a marathon and not a sprint. (Actually, it’s a lot more like a decathlon, but I digress…)

 

I’ll never forget the one literary agency I queried that asked to see my manuscript, but only if I paid a $300 reading fee. (This was over thirty years ago, and there wasn’t a robust internet for writers to share info about scams like reading fees.) I called the agency and told the agent who answered that I wasn’t comfortable paying the $300 fee. He said, “How about you pay us $150, and we’ll read half the book?” I laughed and disconnected.

 

Probably the most common type of scam writers get is someone who promises to sell us The Secret of Success. Back in the day, the covers of Writer’s Digest used to promise you would make lots of money by following the advice in their articles. (They’ve had classier covers for years now.)

And who knows how many How-to-Become-a-Bestselling-Author books have been published? (Usually by people who’ve written and published little to nothing else.) The modern versions of these books focus on topics like how to get rich as an indie writer and how to get rich using AI to write your books. Same scam, different time.

 

Then there are seminars for Massive Writing Success, which you can attend in person, online, or view prerecorded classes, all for a fee that you can conveniently pay in installments. As always with any kind of class (or how-to-write book, for that matter), check the credentials of the writers presenting, look up reviews on the internet, and ask around on social media if the seminars are legit and worth the expense.

 

Then there are the people on social media who, when you post about your book release, make a comment (or send you a message/email) trying to lure you into buying their services as an editor, book trailer creator, cover artist, publicist, etc. Here’s one I received not long ago:

 

Hello Tim, huge congrats on releasing your debut 🎉. That’s a milestone most people never hit. Do you have a book trailer for it yet that I could check out?

 

(It was not my debut, by the way. My debut novel came out in 2001.)

 

The most recent scam I’ve been seeing is people who write snarky/negging emails offering their services to give you the successful writing career you deserve. They basically challenge you to have the balls to hire them. Here’s one I got yesterday, with the sender’s name omitted.

 

From: [Name Redacted]
Sent: Tuesday, September 9, 2025 8:21 AM
To: twaggon1@msn.com <twaggon1@msn.com>
Subject: Tim, you’ve got Bram Stoker Awards but Amazon’s treating you like you just uploaded Wattpad fanfic 😏📉

 

Imagine this: you create a monster called Night who literally warps reality, sends panther-demons hunting people, and transforms an office building into a nightmare labyrinth and somehow the scariest part of your book isn’t the Blight, it’s that Amazon is letting it sit there with only 12 reviews. Bruh. That’s horror. 😅

 

Tim, let’s be real you’ve published over 60 novels, collected more awards than my grandma’s got salt shakers (Bram Stoker x4, Scribe Award, Shirley Jackson finalist, Splatterpunk finalist), AND you’re a tenured professor shaping the next wave of horror writers. Basically, you’re the dude other horror writers name-drop to sound cool at parties. 🥶

 

But even with all that, Amazon’s algorithm doesn’t care if you’re Bram Stoker royalty. It cares about reviews, and right now it’s looking at A Hunter Called Night like, “eh, 12 people liked it, must be mid.” 🙃 That’s the kind of visibility trap that burns authors out faster than a caffeine-only book tour.

 

Let me put your pain points in the daylight where even Night can’t hide:

 

Low Reviews = Low Visibility → fewer readers finding your work.

 

Marketing Confusion → too many “experts” promising the world for $$$ but ghosting like Blight victims.

 

Imposter Syndrome → yeah, even award-winners sometimes think “what if I’ve peaked?” when the Amazon star count crawls.

 

Overwhelm & Stress → balancing writing, teaching, life, and promo feels like fighting Harriers with a paperclip.

 

Plateaued Sales → nothing kills momentum like a flat sales graph.

 

Here’s where I swoop in not as another “book marketer” (I have no overpriced website, no fake LinkedIn, no Twitter bot army 🤷‍♀️), but as [Name Redacted], keeper of a private, unlisted community of 2,500+ real readers and reviewers who love books that warp reality and make them sleep with the lights on.

 

They read. They review. They boost. And their reviews aren’t “great book 👍” but the kind of thoughtful feedback that feeds Amazon’s algorithm and helps new readers trust your work.

 

But that’s just phase one. I also bring:

🎬 Video trailers → horror sells 10x faster when people can see the nightmare unfold.

📸 Mock-up designs → promo art that doesn’t look like your cousin whipped it up on Paint.

💬 Exclusive Discord sessions → 20–25 of my top readers hop in for 10 minutes with you (they’ve got jobs, they’re busy 😅). Think of it like lightning-round therapy with actual readers instant insight into what hooks them and what bores them.

 

You’ve built worlds where hunters become the hunted why let Amazon hunt your book down into obscurity? Let me arm you with readers who can flip the script.

 

So Tim… should I unleash my squad of review-hungry book devourers to drag A Hunter Called Night out of the algorithm graveyard 🪦 or do we let Amazon keep pretending you’re a rookie horror hobbyist?

 

Your move, Professor of Darkness. 😈📚

 

One thing this email has going for it – the writer knows (or was able to get AI to give them) details about me and one of my books, so it makes them look as if they might be a fan or at least have done their research. (I ran the email through AI-detection programs, and it was flagged by some as having been written by AI, but those programs are notoriously unreliable, so…)

The negging might work with inexperienced writers, but Christ almighty, the message goes way too hard with it, to the point where it’s practically parody. And all the emojis! So. Many. Emojis. Maybe using so many is something some of you young’uns out there might respond to, but I’m 61. One or two emojis in a message is enough for me.

 

The language is too cutesy throughout as well, and in a forced, strained way that makes me think this was written by AI. Or maybe by somebody who thinks AI-produced text is an example of good writing.

 

(I may steal Professor of Darkness and use it as my branding statement, though.)

 

This email went straight into my junk folder, not because I’ve flagged these kinds of messages to go there, but because Outlook determined it was junk and shitcanned it. I check my junk email every day because some legitimate messages do end up there, which is how I found this scam message. I wonder if the originators of these messages have any idea how often their emails don’t reach their intended recipients? Then again, maybe they don’t care. All they need is enough people to read their message and fall for their scam to make it profitable.

 

Are there legit services to help writers promote their books? Sure, but from everything I’ve seen over the years, most of them don’t work very well. Trad publishers, when they do put money into promoting books, have no idea what promotion tactics work. If they did, they would repeat them and make every book a bestseller.

 

The best way – or maybe I should say the most reliable way – to achieve success as a writer is to write books that a lot of people want to read. So diet and self-help books would likely be your best bet. In terms of fiction, that’s one of the reasons genres exist – so readers can find the kind of books they like more easily, and so writers can write the kind of books readers like. Sure, some writers write whatever the hell they want and become successful. Some people win the lottery, too.

The reason my weird dark fantasy/horror books like A Hunter Called Night don’t sell better is because their appeal is limited to readers who like those kinds of books. I would love to devote the rest of my career to writing highly popular fiction, but I seem to be congenitally incapable of it. But I do try out different types of fiction. I’ve toned the weirdness in my writing way down to create a thriller novel (which is still making the rounds of publishers, so any publishers out there reading this…). I enjoyed writing my Conan tie-in fiction so much that I’d like to try my hand at original sword & sorcery. The other day, I wondered what would happen if I wrote what was essentially a mainstream novel with only a bit of horror sprinkled over it. Maybe I’ll try that and see how it works for me.

 

The bottom line: It’s your writing that promotes you best. The other stuff can help, but it’s your writing that matters most.

 

Here are links to a couple of extremely useful sites that can help educate you about writing scams:

 

Writer Beware: http://www.sfwa.org/beware/

 

Preditors and Editors: http://www.anotherealm.com/prededitors/

 

DEPARTMENT OF SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION

 

Speaking of promoting books…

 

Thunderstorm Books will be publishing collectible, signed limited-edition hardcovers of Like Death and never-before-published sequel Like Death 2: Kill Them All. Both books are now available for preorder. They contain extra material, and the gorgeous cover art for both is by the always-incredible Lynn Hansen!

 

The final print run of each book will be determined by preorders. Preorders will be taken until 10/5/2025, so if you want these books – and why wouldn’t you? – make sure you order before the deadline!

 

LIKE DEATH: THE 20^TH ANNIVERSARY EDITION

There are no words for it. Ecstasy is laughably inadequate, as are rapture, euphoria, bliss ... Ugly, harsh syllables that come nowhere near capturing the merest fraction of what he feels. The experience is primal and transcendent, like birth, like death. Scott Raymond lost his parents in a bloodbath when he was only nine years old, but despite the occasional headaches and hallucinations, he's managed to turn that trauma into moderate success as a true-crime writer. The success doesn't extend to keeping up the relationship with his estranged wife and son, however.

 

Hoping to regain a sense of normal family life, he follows them to Ash Creek, Ohio under the pretense of writing a new book about a missing six-year-old girl. There, he encounters a young woman who shares the missing girl's name. She leads Scott into a world of psychotropic spiders, shark-toothed teenagers, and the expression of nearly every dark desire. Fear and fascination lay equal claim as the nightmare fantasies of this realm bleed into Scott’s daily life and his attempts to maintain a relationship with his son. Soon, he will need to use this world of cruelty and pain to face his past, his future, and what his life might have become. If he fails, it is only a matter of time before the nightmare that bloodied his childhood will reach out to ensnare his own son.

 

https://thunderstormbooks.com/thunderstorm/book/like-death/

 

LIKE DEATH 2: KILL THEM ALL

 

It’s not easy being the child of a notorious serial killer.

 

David Raymond’s father Scott – known as the Artiste for the grotesque way he posed his victims – disappeared from prison twenty years ago without a trace. Since that time, David has become a virtual recluse to avoid media attention. But when his mother falls ill, and he needs money to pay for her care, he grudgingly decides to accept an invitation to be the Guest of Honor at Killcon, a gathering of true-crime enthusiasts in Ash Creek, the town where Scott committed the last of his murders.

 

But the dark forces that once plagued his father have other plans for him.

 

David finds himself transported to a sinister realm called Undernight where he’s forced to participate in a life-or-death reality competition called Kill Them All. What he doesn’t know is his Undernight doppelganger has taken his place in the real world, and this David is as deadly a killer as Scott Raymond ever was, if not deadlier. While David struggles to survive nightmarish challenges based on his life, his doppelganger wreaks blood-soaked havoc at Killcon, leaving a trail of corpses in his wake.

 

A mysterious woman named Miranda – who may or may not be the same Miranda who introduced David’s father to the depraved realm of Shadow – comes to David’s aid. But is her true intention to help him live long enough to win the game, or does she have other, darker motives of her own?

 

The two Davids eventually confront each other halfway between Earth and Undernight, and there they learn they’ve both been pawns in a much larger game, one that stretches back twenty years. If they can’t stop it, two worlds will be destroyed. But even if they can, there’s no guarantee their victory won’t result in something infinitely worse.

 

Let the games within games begin…

 

https://thunderstormbooks.com/thunderstorm/book/like-death-2-kill-them-all/

 

Right now, these are the only two editions of these books available, but my agent and I are looking for a publisher to bring out trade paperback, eBook, and audio editions. When we find one, I’ll let you know!

 

I SCREAM, YOU SCREAM

 

Another limited-edition novel, this one from Weird House Press!

 

Eighth-grader Joel Taylor just moved to Shadow Springs with his mom. He likes his new home well enough – until a sinister being called Mr. Freezee begins driving his creepy ice-cream truck up and down the streets at night, playing “Pop Goes the Weasel.”

 

Joel heard the music.

 

He looked out the window.

 

He saw Mr. Freezee, and what’s worse…

 

Mr. Freezee saw him.

 

Now Mr. Freezee wants to take Joel to a very special place where the world is made of every flavor of ice cream you can imagine – all of them deadly. Mr. Freezee brings all his new friends here, and they love it so much that they never leave.

 

Mr. Freezee makes sure of it.

 

Welcome to Sweet Land, Joel.

 

Welcome to a nightmare that never ends.

 

Editions

 

• Deluxe Signed & Lettered Hardcover Edition with slipcase
• Signed by Tim Waggoner and artist Derek Rook
• Hand-Lettered A to Z
• Color Dust Jacket
• Front Cover and Spine Stampings
• Housed in a Slipcase
• Limited to 26 Lettered Editions (Right now only 15 remain!)

Future editions will include a signed hardcover edition, a signed and numbered trade paperback edition, along with an Amazon trade paperback edition and ebook.

 

https://weirdhousepress.com/products/i-scream-you-scream-by-tim-waggoner

 

SCHEDULED APPEARANCES

 

2025

 

Moon Lit Tales and Haunted Trails. Oct. 11-12. St. Albans, West Virginia.

 

2026

 

Superstars Writing Seminar. Feb. 4-5. Colorado Springs, Colorado.

 

Akron Book Fest. March 7. Akron, Ohio.

 

StokerCon. June 4-7. Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

 

Into the Springs Writers Workshop. August 7-9. Yellow Springs, Ohio.

 

WHERE TO FIND ME ONLINE

 

Want to follow me on social media? Here’s where you can find me:

 

Website: www.timwaggoner.com

Newsletter Sign-Up: https://timwaggoner.com/contact.htm

Amazon Page: https://www.amazon.com/stores/Tim-Waggoner/author/B001JP0XFM?ref=ap_rdr&store_ref=ap_rdr&isDramIntegrated=true&shoppingPortalEnabled=true

Blog: http://writinginthedarktw.blogspot.com/

YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/timwaggonerswritinginthedark

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/133838.Tim_Waggoner

Instagram: tim.waggoner.scribe

Threads: @tim.waggoner.scribe@threads.net

Bluesky: @timwaggoner.bsky.social

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tim.waggoner.9

 

Two Wrongs Don't Make a Good Story

I’ve just gotten back from watching Weapons in the theater as I write this. I really enjoyed the movie, especially the actors’ performances, the direction, and the cinematography. The script, however, had some problems for me. I only want to focus on two of those problems for this blog entry, though, because they’re among the most common ones I see as a writing teacher, often in student-written stories, but sometimes in professionally published (or filmed) ones, too. (Don’t worry; I’m not going to give any spoilers for Weapons.)

Problem Number 1: Forgetting That Media is Everywhere

I first became aware of this problem when I read a horror novel in the early 1990s (and no, I’m not going to say which one to avoid spoilers). It was a great book, an award-winner, and I enjoyed the hell out of it. But the events that occurred within it were realistic, the public was aware of them, and they were so bizarre that both print and TV reporters would’ve been all over the story throughout the novel. But there was no media presence in the book whatsoever.

A more recent example (which I will name) is Bentley Little’s The Bank (2020). I love Bentley’s fiction, and I enjoyed the book quite a lot. But in the novel, nearly twenty people, all who work at the same bank, are found dead in a field outside town. (This happens early in the novel, so my telling you isn’t much of a spoiler.) One of the dead people has an obvious cause of death, but the others don’t. Weird, right? But no news media – not even a single local reporter – shows up to cover the story.

I see this failure to address the presence of media happen a lot in horror – including in Weapons. Given the mysterious circumstances – seventeen children all disappear at 2:17 a.m. on the same night – and the fact the events of the story go on for weeks, local, state, national and international media would quickly show up to cover the story, and they’d stay on it. The media would be omnipresent in town, and they’d bug the elementary school teacher, the one child who didn’t disappear, the kids’ parents, law enforcement (both local and federal), and regular citizens alike to get interviews and sound bites – and they would not stop.

Add to this all the people who’d be texting each other, posting on social media, making YouTube and TikTok videos about the case, discussing it on podcasts – especially in this age of true-crime entertainment – and people would flock to the town: influencers, true-crime writers, paranormal investigators, conspiracy theorists, dark tourists… The entire world would become obsessed with the disappearances. And the parents of the missing children would use this to their advantage, granting interviews to the media to put more pressure on law enforcement to find their kids. But there’s nothing but crickets in the film as far as the media is concerned.

Now, in a more intimate, character-focused story like Weapons, the writers might decide not to make the media a major aspect of the story, and the media might fade out of the story for the most part as the plot moves on, but they’d still be in the background somewhere. But not having any media at all present is extremely unrealistic – and it always strains my suspension of disbelief.

Here’s how I handle the issue of the media in my fiction:

• Many of my novels take place over the course of a few hours, and there often isn’t time for news media to become alerted to the weird stuff going on.
• My characters are usually so caught up in dealing with weird stuff that they don’t have time to text anyone or post about it on social media.
• The weird stuff is usually supernatural, and characters may perceive it, but the rest of the world doesn’t, so no media becomes involved.
• The situation might only impact a few characters, so the incidents aren’t known – and maybe never will be known – outside their circle.
• I might have law enforcement try to conceal the more bizarre/extreme aspects of an incident to keep news media from becoming involved (as long as they can, anyway).
• I have news media show up for a scene or two to establish their presence, but they don’t play a big role in the story.
• I’ll show someone post a message on social media or read one, send a text or receive a text, talk to someone on the phone, etc. about what’s happening. I’ll do this once or twice to show that people are upset about what’s going on and talking about it, but I don’t make it a major part of the story.
• Sometimes I’ll make the news media and social media a significant aspect of the story. I may do this by having one reporter be a supporting character or even a main character. This reporter stands in for all the other media that’s present in the background. I might have characters stay in regular phone/text/social media contact with friends or family during a story (although I’ll make sure not to overdo this).

Problem 2: Not Checking Your Plot Forward AND Backward

Writers seem so focused on moving their plot forward that they sometimes don’t fully consider the ramifications of the events they’re writing about. They write a cool scene revealing the central mystery of the story, but they don’t go back to the beginning of the draft and check to make sure everything else in the story fits the explanation. This happens in Weapons, but I can’t talk about where and how without spoiling aspects of the film. But I’ll give you an example from Tobe Hooper’s Salem’s Lot (1979) All the vampires in the miniseries are repelled by the cross – except master vampire Barlow. When Father Callahan shoves a metal cross toward Barlow, he reaches out, crumples it in his hand, and tosses it away. No explanation. The audience can guess that Barlow is so powerful that the cross doesn’t affect him, but in the novel, King makes it clear that the bearer of the cross must have faith for it to work, and Father Callahan’s faith is more than a little shaky at that point in his life. I’m sure Hooper loved the imagery of Barlow crushing the cross without any explanation, but King’s version is infinitely better – and it’s logical within the confines of the story. It often doesn’t take much to fix a problem like this. Fright Night (1985) dealt with this same issue in one line. When Peter Vincent thrusts a cross toward master vampire Jerry Dandridge, Dandridge laughs, then says, “You have to have faith for that to work on me.” If you’re going to establish rules in a story – whether explicitly through dialogue or showing them through action – they need to be consistent, and when there’s an exception to the rules, the audience needs to know why.

The original 1978 Halloween has a different problem. When Michael Myers escapes from the mental hospital where he’s been confined since he was a child, he steals a hospital vehicle and drives away. When did he learn to drive? It’s established that he’s been catatonic the entire time he was in the hospital, so even if someone wanted to teach him, he wouldn’t have responded to them. In the novelization of Halloween, one of the hospital staff gives Michael driving lessons, which isn’t believable given what the script says about his mental condition, but at least it’s some kind of explanation.

Probably the horror movie most guilty of plot inconsistency (at least for me) is M. Night Shyamalan’s Signs. At the end of the movie, humans discover that water is like acid to the alien invaders. They use it as a weapon against the aliens, and the surviving invaders, evidently realizing the egregious error they’ve made, get the hell off the planet. My guess is that Shyamalan loved the symbolism of pure water defeating the evil aliens so much, that he didn’t bother to ask why would aliens with super-advanced tech come to a planet and not know its water was acid to them? Don’t they have sensors? Probes? Water-testing kits? Couldn’t they have seen a buddy step into a puddle and lose a foot and realize something was wrong? Or couldn’t they have done what we humans do when we go into a hostile environment and wear fucking protective gear? I mean, those dudes walked around Acid World naked! (And what if it rained on the aliens or they went to a place with a shit-ton of humidity, or…) It also irritates the hell out of me that Shyamalan seems to imply the entire alien invasion – and all the human casualties that resulted – was created by God to restore one man’s faith.

Assuming Shyamalan had the ending of his story in mind first, he should’ve figured out why the aliens wanted to come to Earth and take it over, and why they were unaware that water is acid to them. He wouldn’t have to address either issue in the film, but his knowing those things would’ve allowed him to avoid what turned out to be an extremely bad ending. So imagine him rereading his script and realizing it’s dumb as hell for aliens to come naked to a world that’s mostly acid to them. He then asks himself why they wouldn’t know ahead of time what water could do to them. Answer: Because it’s not just water that harms them. It’s water combined with another liquid, a combination the aliens could not foresee. So Joaquin Phoenix swings his bat, smashes the water pitcher and a cup of coffee. The mixture hits the alien, and it melts like the Wicked Witch of the West. Joaquin says, “Holy shit! Water and caffeine together! Who knew?” Again, it doesn’t take a huge adjustment to fix problems like this. (I’d probably have Joaquin or someone else hurl a different liquid at the alien first, then he could add the water by smashing the pitcher, just to make the combining of liquids seem more realistic.)

Now, I don’t need to have everything spelled out for me in stories. To me, Michael Myers is a liminal being that exists somewhere between the real and the unreal. His driving is just another part of the mystery that is this unknowable creature. And I fucking love David Lynch’s films and TV shows, and they don’t make a lick of sense, nor are they supposed to. My favorite stories are ones where bizarre shit happens for reasons we will never understand or for no reason at all. Most of the horror fiction I’ve written in my career is in this vein, especially my short stories. But if you are going to write more realistic horror fiction (or really, any kind of realistic fiction), you need to mentally sweep through your story forward and backward – as well as consider the story before the story – to make sure everything fits, or at least fits as well as it needs to.

I don’t mean to trash Weapons here. If you haven’t seen it already, you should check it out. Like I said earlier, it’s a really good film, and afterward, I heard members of the audience talking about how scary it was, and that’s always a good endorsement for a horror movie!

DEPARTMENT OF SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION

THE WORLD TURNS RED

 

My new horror novella, The World Turns Red, came out in June, and reactions from reviewers and readers alike have been overwhelmingly positive! Here’s a sample:

 

“A dark, disturbing masterpiece worth binge-reading in one sitting.” – S.E. Howard

 

“This is a very dark, intense read with a surreal quality that pulled me in from page one and held me spellbound to the bitter end.” – Well Worth a Read

 

The World Turns Red is another in a long line of brilliant horror work by Tim Waggoner. There was never anyone who could blend the real with the surreal so seamlessly that, as wild as the story gets, it makes perfect sense somehow. Now THAT takes one hell of a writer. The book is a flawless masterpiece…6 out of 5 stars.  – Carson Buckingham

 

Synopsis:

 

Welcome to the meat room.

 

At first, it’s a whisper on the edge of your consciousness.

 

As it gets louder, you begin to make out words—dark, sharp, dangerous words… You clap your hands over your ears to shut them out, but you can’t escape what comes from inside you.

 

The voice tells you to do things to yourself. Bad things. Awful things…

 

The longer you listen, the more they seem reasonable. Desirable.

 

Inevitable.

 

And as you reach for the nearest knife, gun, or rope, the voice speaks the last four words you’ll ever hear:

 

All hail the Unhigh.

 

Cemetery Dance: https://www.cemeterydance.com/TheWorldTurnsRed

 

Amazon: https://tinyurl.com/5cabrjn2

 

Barnes and Noble: https://tinyurl.com/kzphuep7

 

CONAN: SPAWN OF THE SERPENT GOD

 

The time is drawing nigh! My Conan the Barbarian novel, Spawn of the Serpent God, will be released October 28th! The novel ties into the comic book event Scourge of the Serpent Men (Conan being said scourge, of course, although it looks like King Kull may be involved, too). You won’t have to read the comics to understand my book, and vice versa, but if you’re a Conan fan, you might enjoy reading both. Here’s a link to the first issue of Scourge of the Serpent Men: https://titan-comics.com/c/2316-conan-the-barbarian-scourge-of-the-serpent/

 

You can find various preorder links for the novel at the Titan Books site: https://titanbooks.com/72365-conan-spawn-of-the-serpent-god/

 

And while I’ve had no official word (because nobody ever tells writers anything), it looks like Spawn of the Serpent God will be getting an audio edition! I’m super excited because the narrator is Bradford Hastings, who’s not only an excellent reader and performer, but his Conan is my absolute favorite portrayal of the character. The audiobook is due out in late December, and you can preorder it at B&N and Amazon. I’m sure it’ll be available directly from Blackstone Audio (who’s the publisher of the audio version) as well.

 

Amazon: https://tinyurl.com/bn6hh2m

 

B&N: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/conan-tim-waggoner/1148011208?ean=9798228671591

 

Synopsis:

 

In Zamora, the city of thieves, Conan meets Valja, a thrill-seeking thief. She entices him to join

her on a heist, where they steal a golden statuette of Ishtar, said to contain the goddess herself.

After killing a dozen guards and failing to escape, the pair are saved by priestesses of Mitra. But

Conan knows that nothing is free.

 

The priestesses have need of their skills. They have waged war against Set, god of chaos and

serpents, who demands constant sacrifice from his subjects and massacred thousands of his

followers. Yet they are no match for Uzzeran, a powerful sorcerer, who has been performing

unspeakable experiments on humans in the name of Set. To defeat Uzzeran, they will need a

legendary warrior on their side. They need Conan the Barbarian.

 

I SCREAM, YOU SCREAM

 

Weird House Press is going to bring out my middle-grade horror novel I Scream, You Scream. Joe Morey, publisher at Weird House, says “We are going to do a deluxe signed and lettered hardcover with slipcase, and double lettered deluxe hardcover (no slipcase), a signed hardcover edition, and a signed and numbered trade paperback edition sometime next year. Also an Amazon trade paperback edition and ebook.”

Check out that cover! The art from Derek Rook is perfect for the novel! It reminds me of the artwork that appeared on the covers of the DC horror comics I read as a kid – The House of Mystery and The House of Secrets. Young Timmy would be freaking out even more than old(er) Tim is!

If you’re a fan of my adult horror fiction, this story is just as weird and bizarre as anything else I’ve written, but geared toward younger readers. I think older readers will enjoy it, too, if for no other reason than to see how I translate my dark and surreal style for a middle-grade audience.

Synopsis:

Eighth-grader Joel Taylor just moved to Shadow Springs with his mom. He likes his new home well enough – until a sinister being called Mr. Freezee begins driving his creepy ice-cream truck up and down the streets at night, playing “Pop Goes the Weasel.”

Joel heard the music.

He looked out the window.

He saw Mr. Freezee, and what’s worse…

Mr. Freezee saw him.

Now Mr. Freezee wants to take Joel to a very special place where the world is made of every flavor of ice cream you can imagine – all of them deadly. Mr. Freezee brings all his new friends here, and they love it so much that they never leave.

Mr. Freezee makes sure of it.

Welcome to Sweet Land, Joel.

Welcome to a nightmare that never ends.

Here’s a link to the book’s page on the Weird House. Preorder info is scheduled to appear on August 26th: https://weirdhousepress.com/products/i-scream-you-scream-by-tim-waggoner

 

SCHEDULED APPEARANCES

 

2025

 

Moon Lit Tales and Haunted Trails. Oct. 11-12. St. Albans, West Virginia.

 

2026

 

Superstars Writing Seminar. Feb. 4-5. Colorado Springs, Colorado.

 

Akron Book Fest. March 7. Akron, Ohio.

 

StokerCon. June 4-7. Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

 

Into the Springs Writers Workshop. August 7-9. Yellow Springs, Ohio.

 

WHERE TO FIND ME ONLINE

 

Want to follow me on social media? Here’s where you can find me:

 

Website: www.timwaggoner.com

Newsletter Sign-Up: https://timwaggoner.com/contact.htm

Amazon Page: https://www.amazon.com/stores/Tim-Waggoner/author/B001JP0XFM?ref=ap_rdr&store_ref=ap_rdr&isDramIntegrated=true&shoppingPortalEnabled=true

Blog: http://writinginthedarktw.blogspot.com/

YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/timwaggonerswritinginthedark

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/133838.Tim_Waggoner

Instagram: tim.waggoner.scribe

Threads: @tim.waggoner.scribe@threads.net

Bluesky: @timwaggoner.bsky.social

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tim.waggoner.9